How Olay's #FearlessAtAnyAge Campaign Empowers Me Not Just As A Woman, But Also As A Creative.

Whenever I somehow happens to 'achieve' something, it always occurs to me that as I celebrate for achieving something, I would also question or doubt myself more. Like when I was first approached for my story to be published. I was 23 years old at that time. If I thought about it, I was quite young compared to the age of some of the writers I have met before. But then I realized that in that moment, I was already actually quite old compared to the 16 years old and other 20 years old in our pool that got published/scouted too.

Of course I shrugged off the age differences, as I thought that they're the same age as mine when I started to get really serious with writing. I started writing when I was around 11 to 12 years old, and at that time, it was all just play. Like, I would do it because I liked it. Around my older teen years, I became more serious with writing more plot-driven stories. By the time I reached 23, well, one of the biggest publishing houses in the country thought my stories are worth publishing. I have a total of 10 books published, and while most of them haven't been reprinted after it was sold, I am forever thankful with my publisher for seeing the potential in me and in my stories.

After the journey, I realized that I wanted to do other things. My interests expands to other things and industries as well, and most of the times, I am being discouraged because of the lack of support, I guess. I am used to doing things on my own, but I wanted to share things, too. And when it happens, my friends or the people I thought would understand me would give me weird looks, like I am some kind of a lunatic. I always think of the possibilities and opportunities I can have or make, but I think, as much as I want to do things on my own, I can't have it all.

Ever since I decided to head to the 'freelancing' life and got hit by the hard reality that it isn't easy, and it kept me broke for all these years, everything is just spiraling down for me. A lot has happened. A lot of times, I tried to think of ways to kill myself, but there are also times when I think of actually just living the life I want. But it all goes down to the question.. What am I living for?

I am not getting any younger. I used to think back and think of the what ifs.

What if I had started sooner?

What if I thought about this idea when I was younger?

What if I did this about five years ago?

It all boils down to time. I have phases wherein I feel like sleeping is a waste when I can do so much for the time that I will be sleeping, especially whenever I am in the mood in writing (typing) stories. I feel like if I sleep, I will lose the 'mood' and would be back to zero. There are also time wherein sleeping is more precious to me that when I am hungry, I'd still choose to sleep over eating.

I am afraid to venture on things I actually want to do because I have no one to turn to. No people would actually cheer on me, or help me, because most of them would think that my ideas are crazy or somewhat impossible. And it pains me.

I am approaching my 30th in two years and one month and most of the people are know seemed to be 'established' or what you call 'successful' in the field they have chosen. When I don't even know what 'FIELD' to choose because I wanted to do so many things! I know that I have to focus on something, but as a freelancer, I needed to do more than one. I know I can do things, and I am working my ass off in doing so. I am emailing brands and people for possible opportunities, I am writing stories and passing it on publishers (awaiting approval) and I even do ghostwriting for other writers! I can also do event organizing and all that stuff. And as much as I love doing it all by myself, other people's help and support is somewhat crucial. But I still do what I can.

I sometimes tell myself that most successful people are actually already in their early thirties and up when they learned what to do in their life. Now, I am not saying that I am waiting to be in that place for me to do necessary things to succeed in what I want to do in my life, but it makes me feel better knowing that although other people think that at my age, I should already be like this and like that, the #FearlessAtAnyAge campaign of Olay actually made sense.

Image from Olay Philippines FB Page

It made me think that regardless of my age, I still have a lot of time in my hands. I just needed to do more to achieve more. It made me remember all the hardships and pain I already experienced just to be here to where I am and what I am today, and being discouraged with my age to do something I want and be who I really want to be is not in the option. I have come a long way.

I know, other people are afraid to take the leap. They think they're too young, or too old. And it wasn't easy.

I already took that leap. It was a scary road. Being broke, just having enough or nothing to be able to live and all that stuff. But I believe that I can still succeed in whatever I want to do so I just have to be more brave and fearless.

You can watch the mini movie made by Olay here and be inspired and empower like me.